Disorder in the Court


These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th.
Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death.
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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